My Life

a day of tears a day of damn sad low feeling.. can help me?? nope it still cant.. y?? cos.. my heart still got u baby.. whn to west mall.. talk to ah teck on de way abt wat happen.. i cry somemore.. he even call ryan.. my ex jiefu.. who cares for me alot.. i gave him a shock.. so sry.. cos once i got de phone i just started a big cry.. no one can even stop.. ah teck also dunno wat to do.. was listening to songs.. wo de cuo and duo si wo de cuo.. walk and think alot.. yes no one cares.. half way still recieve a call.. haish.. a bad call.. let me say to de caller.. if i done all tat.. yes my wrong i should'nt do tat.. but did anyone think abt de good?? ah leo birthday.. wan him happi.. i got wrong ma? do u all think i wan do tat? i also dun wan.. is ppl ask me bring ah leo go have fun.. if by doing this to make my bro happi.. like tat i last time till now no one will respect me la sia.. u all just think de blame is on me.. de good?? haish.. baby say correct i done so much.. who cares? no one la... and talked wif ryan jiefu onj de phone.. he say.. he will sent me go taiwan find u.. he say give him 2 weeks time. but i dunno weather is true or not.. but i hoping he is.. thn went west mall find ah gal.. who is ahteck gf.. thn plan to go woodland play majong.. HA!! i totally no mood.. i lost 10 over dollars.cos i already prepare to lose money.. i got no mood to do all tat.. but heng got jie fu around.. i win back money. thx alot..i know u all trying hard to make me smile.. make me laugh.. but realli sry jie fu.. ah teck ah gal.. i realli cant.. but least i smile abit to show u all tat i fine.. thn everything finish now just came home.. cant sleep.. gonna listen song.. think abt things ba..

secondly.. baby i wanna say alot of things. but maybe u think is craps or wat.. yes all is my fault actually.. maybe now i regret is too late or smth.. but baby.. did u ever think y i wan play gang back?? y i wan keep gina??? who de hell in this world who know me.. dunno tat even i wan chap i will not keep gina.. but i keep kina is for u.. wat i promise u?? least a 10 gina plus me 11 ppl will pick u up from airport if u are back.. i reaching my target.. and i dun wan study.. cos u not around le.. last time u around.. u still ask me g skul i still go.. now?? diff u know ma?? even u now ask me go skul.. but do u think i got de mood?? and y i told u i got work liao?? u think i realli wan work?? baby u know clearly i can dun work also can survive lor.. i found a job.. cos of who?? partly realli cos of u.. u know ma?? cos i wan save money to go find u.. tat wat i told u before.. it rying to do it.. u understand?? i dun wanna break anymore promise tat i promise towards u..and.. i going do smth.. not do de thing tat bad behide u.. cos jiefu say wan spon me go taiwan find u la.. i say u may hate me.. cos u ask me cannot go ma.. but do u think.. i realli can let go ma?? since jie fu open mouth say.. give him 2 weeks time.. he will sent me go.. i say up to him.. cos he dun need do so much for me.. i dunno weather is true or not.. tat y i ask u. if i going do smth maybe u dun like wat will u do..haish.. if realli he can.. i reallli prepare to go.. baby.. maybe now i say all this u will get angry liao.. but pls dun.. haish...

3rdly.. i realli think alot today.. wat i have done?? how much i done for de shirt?? who dunnno clown respect de shirt alot.. y i keep so many gina.. 1 reason also cos of boss.. i promise him i wan make his shirt big.. i doing it.. but now?? maybe in his heart.. i just a supsuii gina now.. i think i now stand no whr in his heart.. haish.. i can even foke out 200 dollars without saying anything to treat u alll eat.. but got who cares? no one ba.. who dunnno even i sad i wan my ppl tat wif me to be happi?? do u all know wat de real story behide this name CLOWN/?/ guess u all dunno.. yes this de first shirt really make me feel realli like a family.. but also a shirt who dunnno me well.. haish.. but nvm la.. no one cares also.. baby say correct i done so much who cares?? shit cares onli ba.. wat i get in de end? a scolding?? a word say wan kick me out?? haish.. nvm la.. now also ask alex take care of de gina first.. meimei will help me settle watever going happen.. jiejie going to overall help me take care.. i stand no rights now.. no whr now.. haish.. can i just die all let a car just bang me to death?? but do i realli can let go everything i had ma?? can i realli let go of baby?? 4months.. bloody 4months.. after baby left i still cant let go la sia.. who dunno. i dun wait for gals more thn 1 month la.. but now diff.. i can wait.. but whr gone can i still get back?? no one cares.. no one realli can do anything.. haish..

say so much also no use.. jiejie i know u care for me u help me alot.. but u dun realli know my feeling.. yes a guy cry for a gal for wat? a guy like 1 to die for a gal for wat?? cos i realli love her alot.. baby elise.. realli someone i realli love alot.. guess u dunno ba..y i wan do tat ??u think for myself? my own use? own fun?? no!! is for ah leo!!! u know ma?? i wan him happi his birthday.. u know ma?? u dunno.. nvm jiejie i dun blame u.. although we know each other realli got more thn 3 yrs.. but we not realli tgt everyday.. onli recent month whn i change side and be wif u all we thn got everyday meet de.. nvm jie i dun blame u.. cos u realli a best jie who realli cares and do alot things for me..

haish.. just let me relax ba.. i dun wan cares so much first.. just let me try do smth for baby.. shirt.. mei and alex.. u 2 is de person i trust.. help me ba.. de rest.. i dunno still got wat.. maybe dun wan care much ba.. haish..



if i din start to give up on de r/s first i guess all this also will not happen.. maybe still u be in sg sia.. haish..